Motherhood

Christmas in Florida:

I thought I would post this, so you can get to know a little bit more about me. I don't share a lot of info about my kids on this blog. I have a family and friend blog that gushes on my kids-the love of our lives. I am ETERNALLY grateful for the blessing and even the trials (those aren't as easy to be thankful for are they?) God has placed before us. He must think I am a much stronger person than I think I am.

This is from last fall-which reminds me I need to get some new pictures. My big boys are changing so fast these days, as are the 2 little "BIG KIDS"


When I read blogs from people who have lost a child or are dealing with a sick child, I am so grateful that I have 4 healthy kids running around- I'm not always so thankful for the messes but I am thankful and blessed to be able to pick up after my kids. This last year has been nuts. My hubby used to work for Lehman Bros as an account exec-we saw the writing on the wall and decided we should send him back to school to become a computer programmer. We sold almost everything and moved to Florida to be with my parents while my husband finished up classes and began a new career path. He is working on all the "stuff" to get his PMP and I am holding on to hope that a GREAT job, that will support a family of 6, is just waiting for him to finish this certification. I look forward to a new job (for my hubby) soon-hopefully, so I can begin shopping in a thrifty way and re-fill our home with treasures that make it feel like ours. Just wait till I start doing all those projects. I look forward to having just our family filling the rooms of our home. Don't get me wrong family is great but we need to be able to be ourselves-all of the time. When I say I got rid of almost everything-I mean dishes and glasses, things we didn't want to pay storage for and so there were some people who got some great treasures at the Goodwill. We still filled a truck with treasures we couldn't live without. We treasure your prayers as he will hopefully be able to take the class this month(it could be postponed). He is supposed to call on June 15 to see if they will have it rolled out yet. He is already doing all the studying for it, so once he gets the OK, he will get done pretty quick. I would love to get moved and settled before the school year begins (Lord you know our hearts but I also know Your plan is always perfect).

This is the post I posted on my other blog for Mother's Day:

I am eternally grateful for the 4 little blessing I have in my life that call me Mom. We have 2 more in heaven but I have never heard them call me Mom yet and I have never been able to hold them in my arms and tell them how much I have always loved them. Please don't get me wrong-I know that doesn't make me any less their Mom than the four I have here on earth. I hold those 2 babies in a very sacred and dear place in my heart. I wonder what they would be like and how different the dynamics of our family would be. What would be different besides the personalities they would bring to our home-- A LOT and I will talk about that towards the end of this post.

We didn't know if we would ever hold a sweet little baby in our arms. Year after year passed and still I had not conceived again. It was May when I lost our first baby. After that, May was always a very hard month, not only because it was the month we lost our first baby but it was the month we celebrate Mother's Day and it was like pouring salt into an open wound. I could put on a smile and go on about my day, but the heart ache was so unbearable at times.

When I finally got pregnant with G1-you can only imagine-I was on pins and needles till I held him in my arms. We were married 8 years before we had him. A year and 10 days later God blessed us with G2. Then we went through several long years of infertility again, both of us came to terms with the fact that THIS (our 2 precious boys) was the family God had for us, only to get pregnant and loose another baby. Why had God brought both of us to a place of total contentment only to take that baby from us. I poured my heart out to God, asking Him to either bring me back to a place of total contentment or show me that He had another child for us. 2 months after loosing that baby God blessed us with our 3rd pregnancy, another little boy would arrive 7 years after G2. G3 was coming on his own terms-he was breech, I had low amniotic fluids, and after a run to the hospital one evening because I was not feeling quite right, the doctor decided Grayden was coming emergency C-section, 3 weeks early. We talked about whether or not we should have another one or not. There was such an age span between G2 and G3 and we wanted him to have a close relationship with a sibling, like the bond G1 and G2 share, but the economy was failing and we didn't feel it was the wisest decision to try for another one-we were done. Well God IS in control and He decided we weren't done yet. We found out we were expecting AGAIN--this time God decided we needed a little bundle of SOFT PINK GIRLY GIRL to change things up-Miss G4 made her appearance and we will never be the same. Don't get me wrong-I adore my boys. Each one has a totally different personality. I have enjoyed being the mom of 3 boys but having is girl is so different. She has changed the dynamics of our family and I have loved getting to do all the girly things this time. (I was enjoying watching her sit on G2's lap last night. I was cooking dinner and he didn't even know I was watching them. She wanted on his lap because something was scarring her on TV. He was so caring and was holding her close and kissing her on the check-I love those moments.) SO, now God has blessed us with 4 and I am eternally grateful that I can CELEBRATE Mother's day. My quiver is FULL-no I don't have a realty TV show with 12 kids running around but for us 4 will do, unless God has some other surprises up His sleeve-and NO that is not an announcement FOLKS.
I wonder from time to time what those 2 babies would have been like, looked like, what their favorite colors would have been, what color hair and eyes, were they boys or girls??? God's plan is perfect -- even when I can not comprehend WHY. What would have been different, besides the food budget each month? A lot--Garrett would not have been the first and there would have been 6 years between the first and G1. We could have had our first and still known G1 but G3 would not be here because I would have still been pregnant with the other baby we lost. Although I look forward to the day I can tell my other 2 children how much they have always been loved and wanted, I wouldn't change things because I can't imagine life without G3. I wonder what other G names we would have come up with --boys names are easier but girls -- not so much. Gertrude would have been out FOR SURE. There aren't that many really cute G girl names. My kids call themselves THE G FORCE-G1, G2, G3 and G4.

I remember that old hymn--Count your blessing name them one by one...OK I WILL...Ken-my husband and best friend, our 1st baby in heaven, G1, G2, our 2nd baby in heaven, G3 and G4, plus so many other great family and friends in our lives.

Thank you Lord for blessing my life with a wonderful husband and 4 AWESOME kiddos.


That's my man-Prince Charming with our brother-in-law Mr A. on the mountain land-potential golf course-needless to say the golf pose. Don't you think he is probably thinking about that ball going across the mountain and it being a hole in one???